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Almost everyone has found some form of therapeutic release in their own lives that helps keep them balanced and centered. Over the years I have found that for myself one of the most effective psychological tools is writing music as expressive therapy.

Everyone in this world experiences dark emotions, whether it be loneliness, sadness, separation, fear, anxiety, or other turmoils. We all have gotten lost in the myriad of pain at one time or another and allowed ourselves to become victim to our own emotions. For some of us, especially men, we have grown up being taught by society not to be emotional, or not to express our emotions. It’s very difficult for people who are truly sensitive and caring to make their way through this world feeling repressed and caged for fear of embarrassment.

I have found that writing songs always seems to tame the inner dialogue that has beat me down so often in the past. A creative outlet is so important for some people to leading a fulfilled life free of emotional turmoil.

At the very beginning of 2011 the woman I was deeply in love with died in a tragic car accident. The effects this had on my life were so many. I went from living a healthy lifestyle to never exercising, hardly ever eating, laying in bed for days and days just hoping to make it through the night. I couldn’t keep a job or smile ever. I was paralyzed by my depression. It was truly the darkest I have ever felt in my entire life.

If it weren’t for the release that I found through writing songs on my acoustic guitar I don’t know what I would have done.

The process was much different than any other song writing process I had ever tried. See, by nature I am so over analytical and literally plan out ever chord transition, every bridge, and the subject matter of each song. I even go as far as writing an outline sometimes for the songs I write, but this process was much different for me. It was the first time I just started playing guitar and letting the words flow like a river out of my heart. I cried and just let the darkness seep out of me onto the paper. For that short time I felt such a freedom that it truly liberated me from the pain that was so deep inside of me.

I have never shared any of those songs with anyone even to this day, and I don’t play them in front of anyone. Instead of writing for other people I truly was writing for my own therapy, though I didn’t even know it at the time.

I would suggest this process to anyone who feels pent up and metaphorically caged by your emotions.

Pick a place where you can be alone completely and light a candle. Pick up your instrument and just start playing. If you don’t know how to play, learn a couple chords first. You only need to learn two chords to write a song. If you don’t want to play an instrument, just sing. Don’t think about it. Just do it. Let it all out and truly sing about what you are feeling. Don’t hold back and play and sing your heart out to exhaustion.

You’ll know when you should be done because you will feel emotionally lighter, sometimes even physically lighter. Express your gratitude for the opportunity to rid yourself of your emotional baggage and know in your heart that others have felt what you are feeling and this too shall pass.

I hope that you are able to find peace in this form of therapy. I have found for myself that nothing is better for easing my pain than writing music as expressive therapy.